Stripping

Hey boys!
In our group, James is well known to be the fastest stripper in our entire grade.
But he doesn't strip himself, he strips other people.
That's quite weird right? He's not the tank type, he doesn't pin people down and begin doing it, but he can sure strip fast and unnoticeable-y.
He has a secret stripping technique, he can strip people with ONE hand, you have to see it, to believe it.
Never read a book, play your i-touch or even eat a sandwich next to James at lunch, or whenever without a security alarm installed on your shirt. Otherwise when you look down your entire row of buttons are undone, your zipper may be if he's feeling goddamn horny.

Oh and also, I lost my top button just today and I had to be a pimp, for just today.
And then I accidentally (no I'm not a porn star) flashed my moob, nipple, man can WHATEVER!... to everyone, and they said my nipple was BLACK.
No, it is NOT black. Seriously, you guys have eye problems. I bet other people with REAL EYES can see that's it perfectly normal, unlike the people with eyes impaired by Team fortress 2, FPS games, or the Pokemon Seizure episode.
Gilbert's been laughing at me too, he showed me his (no, we didn't lock ourselves in the bathroom and have a nipple flashing party, NO!) and his was just as dark.Hypocrite? Gil's nipple calling Will's nipple black.
                                                                                               ^ ^ New proverb for you.

So that's it, don't call my nipple black or YOURS are gonna be purple when I find you.
>:(

~Will