Sticks For Dummies

Hi people

As you all know, there’s an infamous place in our school called the C block. The people there are the scariest people and should be watched out for. Recently I have noticed a strange behavior that is common in all speds: picking up sticks. It’s like when they’re walking down the street and they see a stick, they forget everything else and they HAVE to pick it up or something or their dicks will drop off.
This is what goes on in the speds’ minds before they see a stick on the ground:

This is what their head is like after they see a stick on the ground:

When they do pick it up shts gets real and it’s a good idea to get out of there asap or else somebody will get hurt, and that might be you.

Different types of sticks that speds use as weapons against humanity:

The Average Joe Stick
These sticks lightweight and is 3/4 arm’s length. They are not particularly dangerous although can poke an eye out easily with one swing of arm flail spaz attack. These are easily accessible everywhere, so always be prepared to run away if necessary.

The Pointy Painbringer
These sticks are one the most dangerous and can easily injure and kill a human being if the wielder is a newcomer sped who just arrived in the C block. When you see a sped with this type of stick there is no point in running because he will chase you and kill you. Instead, you must throw a less-dangerous stick towards the sped and pray that he’ll like the thrown stick better replace his own. Or else, you’re f**ked.

The Club
The first case use of the club dates back to the cavemen speds. They lived during the stone age and terrorized native cavepeople as well as dinosaurs. Although not common, they can still be found in the modern world if a thick branch of a tree falls. The heavy weight will kill if hit, so be careful. The first recorded victim of this stick was fred flinstone. RIP fred.

How do I know all this? I’m not a sped but I was told this by the C block escapee, Cuntvin Cheen. He looks similar to Kevin Chen but is like sped so do not be confused.

Anyways, if you see a sped swinging a stick around, don’t get close, but feel sorry for them because that’s what their instincts are telling them to do. That is all.

Ciao